Today we hit playgroup again. The weather was just too cold outside for our regular Wednesday Walk, and I didn't want to stay in, so out we went.
It was much more successful than last time. I was pleased to see Bright Eyes playing appropriately with a whole range of toys, including a home corner.
Then there was a beautiful five minutes where he was playing next to two little boys of a similar (or younger) age. They had a car each and were taking turns to go up and down a ramp toy. No language was involved, but they were cooperating and aware of each other and regulating accordingly.
Add in a burst of sunlight through the window, and it made a scene which I wish I'd caught on my camera.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
RDI Consultant
We met with our RDI consultant this week to catch up and go through a few things.
(My mother kindly looked after the two boys so we could have some proper chatting time. Thanks Mum!)
It was a useful time. We went through a lot of the Stage 2 objectives and talked about whether Bright Eyes was getting them or not. We ticked off a fair number together and have a few more to work on while we wait for our next big assessment in September.
It is so helpful having a consultant. I often feel doubtful about what I'm doing ("Is it right? Am I ok? Is he doing ok?") so it is great to have someone who can affirm, or tweak as necessary.
(My mother kindly looked after the two boys so we could have some proper chatting time. Thanks Mum!)
It was a useful time. We went through a lot of the Stage 2 objectives and talked about whether Bright Eyes was getting them or not. We ticked off a fair number together and have a few more to work on while we wait for our next big assessment in September.
It is so helpful having a consultant. I often feel doubtful about what I'm doing ("Is it right? Am I ok? Is he doing ok?") so it is great to have someone who can affirm, or tweak as necessary.
Camp
Bright Eyes came on a camp with me and the baby for four days this week.
All in all, it was relatively successful. He had two big tantrums and I managed to head off two more by not requiring him to do some things I would normally have expected of him. For example, he didn't use the toilet the whole time. And I didn't make him have a bath. (He was a bit stinky by the time we got home...)
He was very interested in the 40 teenagers who were at the camp, and was keen to chat to them, although the encounters were not entirely successful as they didn't understand a lot of what he was saying, and many people asked him questions he didn't understand or couldn't answer.
I was struck by the difference in the way we talk to him, and the way most people start a conversation. We are still making a huge effort to use declarative language, but the majority of talk by others to him was instrumental and imperative.
(Of course, it's not their fault - that's the way most conversation with three year olds would start! But it was interesting to notice the difference.)
I noticed that he repeated himself constantly, looking for reactions from people. For example, he would look around the table at dinner and say loudly, to no one in particular: "I watched TV." When he got no response, he'd say it again and again, until I stepped in and reacted to his satisfaction.
Since we've come home, he has stopped this to a fair degree.
One nice thing was the fact that he slept in a bunk bed all on his own for the four nights. Back home, he has started in his own bed every night so far, but has ended up in ours... again.
All in all, it was relatively successful. He had two big tantrums and I managed to head off two more by not requiring him to do some things I would normally have expected of him. For example, he didn't use the toilet the whole time. And I didn't make him have a bath. (He was a bit stinky by the time we got home...)
He was very interested in the 40 teenagers who were at the camp, and was keen to chat to them, although the encounters were not entirely successful as they didn't understand a lot of what he was saying, and many people asked him questions he didn't understand or couldn't answer.
I was struck by the difference in the way we talk to him, and the way most people start a conversation. We are still making a huge effort to use declarative language, but the majority of talk by others to him was instrumental and imperative.
(Of course, it's not their fault - that's the way most conversation with three year olds would start! But it was interesting to notice the difference.)
I noticed that he repeated himself constantly, looking for reactions from people. For example, he would look around the table at dinner and say loudly, to no one in particular: "I watched TV." When he got no response, he'd say it again and again, until I stepped in and reacted to his satisfaction.
Since we've come home, he has stopped this to a fair degree.
One nice thing was the fact that he slept in a bunk bed all on his own for the four nights. Back home, he has started in his own bed every night so far, but has ended up in ours... again.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Building memories
Something RDI tries to focus on is building what it calls 'episodic memories'. It's more than just remembering something that happened. It's remembering the emotional reaction that went with it.
For example: not just "we went to the park today" but "we went to the park and I felt sad when I fell off the swing"
Bright Eyes is beginning to have these sorts of memories.
Yesterday his little brother and he were jumping on the bed and giggling their heads off. I said "oh, you're both so naughty" with a big smile on my face. They laughed even more.
Later that evening, I was talking to him as I usually do about what we did that day. I said, "you were being so naughty, jumping on the bed," and straight away he grinned ear to ear and started to giggle. "Naughty boys. Jumping. Two boys jumping." He laughed and laughed.
As he lay in bed, I could hear periodic giggles before he went to sleep.
That's episodic memory.
For example: not just "we went to the park today" but "we went to the park and I felt sad when I fell off the swing"
Bright Eyes is beginning to have these sorts of memories.
Yesterday his little brother and he were jumping on the bed and giggling their heads off. I said "oh, you're both so naughty" with a big smile on my face. They laughed even more.
Later that evening, I was talking to him as I usually do about what we did that day. I said, "you were being so naughty, jumping on the bed," and straight away he grinned ear to ear and started to giggle. "Naughty boys. Jumping. Two boys jumping." He laughed and laughed.
As he lay in bed, I could hear periodic giggles before he went to sleep.
That's episodic memory.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Kitchen happiness
Another great day. Wow. God really does answer people's prayers.
Today Bright Eyes was helpful and cooperative in the supermarket. He found things on the shelf and put them in the trolley, following my point and gaze, spoke to the cashier, waited happily in the chemist, and answered the shop assistant's question of how old he was.
He was friendly to our lovely helper Laura, greeting her by name. We all went for a walk to the park to feed the ducks. He walked a little ahead of us on the side of the road, but then stopped at the kerb and looked around for us to catch up before we crossed the road. He played with a little girl at the playground and copied the way she went down the slide. He came home calmly with no tantrums.
He coped with extra unexpected visitors at lunchtime with no worries, and even said "Goodbye David" at the end when they left.
He played beautifully with big sister all afternoon, running, jumping and dancing with her. I put some music on and started to do some actions, which he copied happily.
Lab time was quite successful. I did some of the same things as yesterday, but tried not to let him control it or turn it into a script. We had a few little standoffs but nothing major, and he came out with more original thoughts and remembered the new word 'tears' from yesterday.
The piece de resistance, however, was at dinner preparation time. I had my apron on and was starting to get things out. He came in and asked "What are you doing, cook?" I answered, "I'm cooking. What are you doing?" His reply: "I'm cooking. Put on cook." (That's his word for apron). We grabbed his apron, and he brought a chair into the kitchen to stand up on.
He got out the vegetables that I asked for from the fridge. He tried to cut, but couldn't, so asked for help. I cut and showed him how to put the pieces in the saucepan. Then we filled up the pan with water, and together put it on the stove. He helped me place the meat on the grill, and then helped me set the table.
RDI Implications
The kitchen episode is the most 'helping' that Bright Eyes has ever done. The greatest number of different jobs, the longest time together, and the most interest shown, with no deliberate obstacles thrown up.
Importantly, it is probably the only helping he has ever done that was not initiated by me.
An important part of RDI is getting a good 'guide-apprentice' type relationship going. Six months ago, this was pretty much impossible. He was just not interested in doing what I did at all.
Seeing my younger baby (now 20 months) who just loves to do everything I do, and who tries to take over when we empty the dishwasher together, comes as a good reminder of how neurotypical children love to imitate their parents.
So guide-apprentice stuff has been progressing very slowly. Sometimes I can get Bright eyes to help me put the washing in the machine, or empty the dishwasher, or water the garden.
But today was completely spontaneous, easy and, dare I say it, 'normal'.
I feel terrific!
Today Bright Eyes was helpful and cooperative in the supermarket. He found things on the shelf and put them in the trolley, following my point and gaze, spoke to the cashier, waited happily in the chemist, and answered the shop assistant's question of how old he was.
He was friendly to our lovely helper Laura, greeting her by name. We all went for a walk to the park to feed the ducks. He walked a little ahead of us on the side of the road, but then stopped at the kerb and looked around for us to catch up before we crossed the road. He played with a little girl at the playground and copied the way she went down the slide. He came home calmly with no tantrums.
He coped with extra unexpected visitors at lunchtime with no worries, and even said "Goodbye David" at the end when they left.
He played beautifully with big sister all afternoon, running, jumping and dancing with her. I put some music on and started to do some actions, which he copied happily.
Lab time was quite successful. I did some of the same things as yesterday, but tried not to let him control it or turn it into a script. We had a few little standoffs but nothing major, and he came out with more original thoughts and remembered the new word 'tears' from yesterday.
The piece de resistance, however, was at dinner preparation time. I had my apron on and was starting to get things out. He came in and asked "What are you doing, cook?" I answered, "I'm cooking. What are you doing?" His reply: "I'm cooking. Put on cook." (That's his word for apron). We grabbed his apron, and he brought a chair into the kitchen to stand up on.
He got out the vegetables that I asked for from the fridge. He tried to cut, but couldn't, so asked for help. I cut and showed him how to put the pieces in the saucepan. Then we filled up the pan with water, and together put it on the stove. He helped me place the meat on the grill, and then helped me set the table.
RDI Implications
The kitchen episode is the most 'helping' that Bright Eyes has ever done. The greatest number of different jobs, the longest time together, and the most interest shown, with no deliberate obstacles thrown up.
Importantly, it is probably the only helping he has ever done that was not initiated by me.
An important part of RDI is getting a good 'guide-apprentice' type relationship going. Six months ago, this was pretty much impossible. He was just not interested in doing what I did at all.
Seeing my younger baby (now 20 months) who just loves to do everything I do, and who tries to take over when we empty the dishwasher together, comes as a good reminder of how neurotypical children love to imitate their parents.
So guide-apprentice stuff has been progressing very slowly. Sometimes I can get Bright eyes to help me put the washing in the machine, or empty the dishwasher, or water the garden.
But today was completely spontaneous, easy and, dare I say it, 'normal'.
I feel terrific!
Sunday, July 1, 2007
mud puddles and original thoughts
I was dreading lab time* today, but it turned out to be so delightful that I just had to document it.
I took in a 'megasketcher' toy which we have enjoyed before. I started out by looking at him and drawing circles on the writing surface with my finger. He got the hint, picked up the 'pen' and drew circles around and around just like I did. We did that a few times very happily.
Next I said, "My turn" and he gave me the pen. This time I drew a simple shape, and gave him back the pen saying "your turn". He looked up at me and then traced, in a very wobbly way, around my shape. We both looked quite happy, so I drew more shapes and he traced them. Then he asked for a few different shapes, so I drew them and he traced them.
We went on trace around each other's hands, plus he traced over the letters of his name. This is the best pen work that Bright Eyes has ever done!
After 15 minutes, I took the pen and drew a round circle. "It's Campbell's face" I said and waited. He said, "eyes" so I drew in the eyes. Then "nose", and then "sad face".
At that I made sad sort of noises and pretended to cry. His face crinkled up too in imitation. I took the pen and drew little tears down the cheeks of the face. "He's crying" I said and waited. "Wet", he said. "That's tears" I explained. "Tears" he said.
We pretend cried for a few minutes, and then Bright Eyes said, "I fell over. I hurt my head." I made appropriate ouch noises. Then he added, "fell in the mud.... eeergh". I joined in with disgust sort of faces and noises. "Yucky! You're muddy!" I said.
After a few more minutes of enjoying the ideas of falling over, feeling sad and being dirty, I grabbed one of the little shapes that come with the megasketcher. I pressed it on to the face, made a smudge and said, "Look - it's all muddy!" He took it and made more smudges. We took turns doing "muddy on eyes, muddy on ears" and covered the whole face! Then we did it again, this time on a new picture of Bright Eyes and his sister together. It was great fun.
By the time we had completely obliterated the pictures of the two faces by covering them in smudges, Bright Eyes said, "They're hiding" and then "they're in a cave."
These are original thoughts, people! This is all good!
At this point I switched games and went with the cave theme. I got him to hide under our little table while I crept around the room singing the 'bear hunt' song.
"I'm going on a bear hunt, I'm going on a bear hunt... oooh! there's the cave. OOOOOOhhhh, there's a bear, ruuuuun!" At which point he emerged from the cave smiling his head off and kind of chased around a little bit.
We took turns to be a bear, and then we switched animals. He was a lion, a tiger, a crocodile, and then (his choice) a sheep, cow, duck, pig, dog and cat. Not sure we have the whole wild animal thing down pat, but I don't mind.
After ten minutes of playing we stopped lab time and went back out to the lounge room. He ran up to Daddy and said, "We animals Dad. Play some games!"
It was a hit! In fact, he enjoyed it so much that he tried to get me to go in again to play 'animals'. And at bedtime, when we talked about what we did today, he said, "animals" and proceeded to list the species we had played.
Later in the afternoon in the kitchen, we rolled out some cookie dough I had made last night and cut out bone shapes (cute cookie cutters!) and ginger bread men. He really enjoyed it, and helped me put them in the oven. He also tried the cookie dough (first time) and said, "I like it. Yum." He was waiting for the cookies for the next hour and talking about them. And at bedtime, he said, "made chocolate bones".
A very very positive day.
*Lab time is our half hour per day in a closed door room with no distractions, doing things together and focusing on developing relationship skills.
I took in a 'megasketcher' toy which we have enjoyed before. I started out by looking at him and drawing circles on the writing surface with my finger. He got the hint, picked up the 'pen' and drew circles around and around just like I did. We did that a few times very happily.
Next I said, "My turn" and he gave me the pen. This time I drew a simple shape, and gave him back the pen saying "your turn". He looked up at me and then traced, in a very wobbly way, around my shape. We both looked quite happy, so I drew more shapes and he traced them. Then he asked for a few different shapes, so I drew them and he traced them.
We went on trace around each other's hands, plus he traced over the letters of his name. This is the best pen work that Bright Eyes has ever done!
After 15 minutes, I took the pen and drew a round circle. "It's Campbell's face" I said and waited. He said, "eyes" so I drew in the eyes. Then "nose", and then "sad face".
At that I made sad sort of noises and pretended to cry. His face crinkled up too in imitation. I took the pen and drew little tears down the cheeks of the face. "He's crying" I said and waited. "Wet", he said. "That's tears" I explained. "Tears" he said.
We pretend cried for a few minutes, and then Bright Eyes said, "I fell over. I hurt my head." I made appropriate ouch noises. Then he added, "fell in the mud.... eeergh". I joined in with disgust sort of faces and noises. "Yucky! You're muddy!" I said.
After a few more minutes of enjoying the ideas of falling over, feeling sad and being dirty, I grabbed one of the little shapes that come with the megasketcher. I pressed it on to the face, made a smudge and said, "Look - it's all muddy!" He took it and made more smudges. We took turns doing "muddy on eyes, muddy on ears" and covered the whole face! Then we did it again, this time on a new picture of Bright Eyes and his sister together. It was great fun.
By the time we had completely obliterated the pictures of the two faces by covering them in smudges, Bright Eyes said, "They're hiding" and then "they're in a cave."
These are original thoughts, people! This is all good!
At this point I switched games and went with the cave theme. I got him to hide under our little table while I crept around the room singing the 'bear hunt' song.
"I'm going on a bear hunt, I'm going on a bear hunt... oooh! there's the cave. OOOOOOhhhh, there's a bear, ruuuuun!" At which point he emerged from the cave smiling his head off and kind of chased around a little bit.
We took turns to be a bear, and then we switched animals. He was a lion, a tiger, a crocodile, and then (his choice) a sheep, cow, duck, pig, dog and cat. Not sure we have the whole wild animal thing down pat, but I don't mind.
After ten minutes of playing we stopped lab time and went back out to the lounge room. He ran up to Daddy and said, "We animals Dad. Play some games!"
It was a hit! In fact, he enjoyed it so much that he tried to get me to go in again to play 'animals'. And at bedtime, when we talked about what we did today, he said, "animals" and proceeded to list the species we had played.
Later in the afternoon in the kitchen, we rolled out some cookie dough I had made last night and cut out bone shapes (cute cookie cutters!) and ginger bread men. He really enjoyed it, and helped me put them in the oven. He also tried the cookie dough (first time) and said, "I like it. Yum." He was waiting for the cookies for the next hour and talking about them. And at bedtime, he said, "made chocolate bones".
A very very positive day.
*Lab time is our half hour per day in a closed door room with no distractions, doing things together and focusing on developing relationship skills.
New shoes
It must have been the prayer requests that I sent around yesterday... because Bright Eyes had a great day.
First off, we put on his new shoes. These are shoes that have been hanging around the house for at least two months. He is notoriously fussy about what he wears and will not wear anything interesting (no pictures, patterns or cute colours) or new. So given that his current shoes are getting too small I knew it was going to be a hard job to put new ones on him.
For a few months I've been pointing out the shoes, holding them up against his feet ("No no no no no no") and talking about them. Yesterday I "lost" his old shoes and tried to put the new ones on, but he ran screaming into the other room, so I miraculously "found" the old ones again to reassure him.
Today though, we managed to get one new one on. At that point, he got upset, but not uncontrollably. I stopped him from pulling the shoe off, got him on my knee and gave him a cuddle for about five minutes. Then I picked up a few favourite books, and we read together for a while. I got the second shoe on when he was happy, and again did the cuddle and the book routine so he wouldn't take it off.
At that point, he was still protesting mildly, so I kept him close to me for the rest of the morning before we went out. If he even had a minute alone, I figured he would have taken it off, so he didn't get a chance.
End result: the shoes stayed on all through church. He walked there and back in them and didn't complain. Hooray.
First off, we put on his new shoes. These are shoes that have been hanging around the house for at least two months. He is notoriously fussy about what he wears and will not wear anything interesting (no pictures, patterns or cute colours) or new. So given that his current shoes are getting too small I knew it was going to be a hard job to put new ones on him.
For a few months I've been pointing out the shoes, holding them up against his feet ("No no no no no no") and talking about them. Yesterday I "lost" his old shoes and tried to put the new ones on, but he ran screaming into the other room, so I miraculously "found" the old ones again to reassure him.
Today though, we managed to get one new one on. At that point, he got upset, but not uncontrollably. I stopped him from pulling the shoe off, got him on my knee and gave him a cuddle for about five minutes. Then I picked up a few favourite books, and we read together for a while. I got the second shoe on when he was happy, and again did the cuddle and the book routine so he wouldn't take it off.
At that point, he was still protesting mildly, so I kept him close to me for the rest of the morning before we went out. If he even had a minute alone, I figured he would have taken it off, so he didn't get a chance.
End result: the shoes stayed on all through church. He walked there and back in them and didn't complain. Hooray.
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