Oh, and I'd just like to say, in relation to our latest prayer points, that he hasn't yelled at his sister since!
He used to say, "Now! Right now! Stop that!" at her, whether it was she who had upset him or not.
Now he says, "Can we stir the boys?" ????!
I don't know where it came from, but for now it takes the heat off his sister, so I can live with that.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
SCRIPTS!!! AAGGHH!
This morning Bright Eyes woke up with these words on his lips, "Gordon the big engine pushed and pulled Thomas the small blue Tank Engine."
And that was it for the rest of the day. It was Thomas, Thomas, Thomas. Scripting from stories, asking questions about them (rhetorical questions that he knows the answers to), relating everything back to a stupid little blue engine. I wish Rev Awdry had kept his train mania to himself all those years ago!
In between talking about Thomas, he was checking our digital clocks and informing me every few minutes of what the time was. He particularly likes times like 10:10 and 11:11 and I think I heard all of them from 9:09am onwards.
Our consultant's advice for scripts: remove everything that triggers them. That means hiding: the trains, videos, pictures, puzzles and books about Thomas. It also means restricting his computer time for the next little while.
At first, I didn't want to do this. But it has become so bad that it's a necessity. The trains are even taking over Easter. Apparently Jesus didn't die on the cross - he died on the track, and lives in a train. Hmmm....
My first step today was to cover all the digital clocks. It certainly has gotten rid of the persistent time-telling, although he did lie in the bedroom beating his feet against the floor yelling, "Numbers, Numbers! Numbers!" for a few minutes.
Tomorrow I'll have to go out and find a non-ticking clock with hands so I can actually tell the time (or maybe just get my watch fixed...)
And that was it for the rest of the day. It was Thomas, Thomas, Thomas. Scripting from stories, asking questions about them (rhetorical questions that he knows the answers to), relating everything back to a stupid little blue engine. I wish Rev Awdry had kept his train mania to himself all those years ago!
In between talking about Thomas, he was checking our digital clocks and informing me every few minutes of what the time was. He particularly likes times like 10:10 and 11:11 and I think I heard all of them from 9:09am onwards.
Our consultant's advice for scripts: remove everything that triggers them. That means hiding: the trains, videos, pictures, puzzles and books about Thomas. It also means restricting his computer time for the next little while.
At first, I didn't want to do this. But it has become so bad that it's a necessity. The trains are even taking over Easter. Apparently Jesus didn't die on the cross - he died on the track, and lives in a train. Hmmm....
My first step today was to cover all the digital clocks. It certainly has gotten rid of the persistent time-telling, although he did lie in the bedroom beating his feet against the floor yelling, "Numbers, Numbers! Numbers!" for a few minutes.
Tomorrow I'll have to go out and find a non-ticking clock with hands so I can actually tell the time (or maybe just get my watch fixed...)
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Fun things.
He's loving riding his bike with his sister in the evenings after dinner. The neighbours have commented on the 'delightful' noises from our backyard. Mostly...
Oh, and he can read! He sat down and read 'Peter and Jane' to me in full the other day - and not just by rote either.
preschool???
Preschool. What am I going to do?
He is tired, tired, tired after a day there. And typically, backing up for the second day brings on tears in the morning. This morning he cried for 45 minutes before we left the house. I said goodbye and left him there, still in tears with the teacher.
Later when I rang, he was having a good morning, but she agreed that he had lost the spark for preschool that he had last year.
Our consultant thinks it might be better for his RDI if he doesn't go, but wants to make sure I get some respite from him. What I might try is to let him go a week without it and see if he's happy all week.
I just don't know.
He is tired, tired, tired after a day there. And typically, backing up for the second day brings on tears in the morning. This morning he cried for 45 minutes before we left the house. I said goodbye and left him there, still in tears with the teacher.
Later when I rang, he was having a good morning, but she agreed that he had lost the spark for preschool that he had last year.
Our consultant thinks it might be better for his RDI if he doesn't go, but wants to make sure I get some respite from him. What I might try is to let him go a week without it and see if he's happy all week.
I just don't know.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Logic and connections
When I was a little girl, I truly believed that all dogs were male and all cats were female. It seemed impossible that you could get female dogs or male cats. I have never mentioned this to the children, so I was interested in this little exchange with Bright Eyes yesterday.
Him: "Do boys like dogs? Can they play with them?"
Me: "Girls like dogs too. All children can play with dogs if they want to."
Him: "No. Girls play with cats."
Him: "Do boys like dogs? Can they play with them?"
Me: "Girls like dogs too. All children can play with dogs if they want to."
Him: "No. Girls play with cats."
Prayer update
I sent this out as an email a couple of days ago to the group of people who pray for Bright Eyes. (If you weren't on it, apologies. I have ongoing organisational issues with my name lists... let me know.)
Today it was as if all the prayers had been immediately answered! He was calm, happy and generally non-violent! Praise God.
Dear friends,
Thanks for praying for us and for Bright Eyes. Yes, we are still in Mittagong and will be for the year it seems. The money came through, so we don’t have to move. This is a big answer to prayer.
The beginning of the year has been pretty good for him. He has settled back into preschool reasonably happily and we have seen good overall progress in his abilities and comprehension. We had a great week in Sydney with his RDI consultant this month and were able to work out a number of obstacles that are in his way at the moment.
Our prayer points this month are:
- That he will stop yelling at his sister and hitting his brother. He seems to have developed a habit of directing all his frustrations towards his sister even if it is not her that has upset him. He yells “Now! Stop That! Right Now!” at her if he’s been upset in any way. Obviously, she doesn’t like this! He also gets nervous when his brother comes around and tends to yell or hit out at him. Clearly, this isn’t great for family peace...
- That his ‘scripted language’ will decrease. He engages more in normal conversations if we make a big effort with him, but he still enjoys repetitively talking to us using scripts from stories or videos. As he has a loud voice and demands attention with it, it can become pretty annoying. I’d like to see it decrease or at least become quieter.
- That Andrew and I will have creativity and energy for daily RDI therapy. We spend ½ hour a day in our ‘RDI room’ playing games and working on our objectives with Bright Eyes. Some days it is great. Other days I could think of a thousand other places to be...
Thanks again friends. We really appreciate your support and loyalty in this.
Today it was as if all the prayers had been immediately answered! He was calm, happy and generally non-violent! Praise God.
Dear friends,
Thanks for praying for us and for Bright Eyes. Yes, we are still in Mittagong and will be for the year it seems. The money came through, so we don’t have to move. This is a big answer to prayer.
The beginning of the year has been pretty good for him. He has settled back into preschool reasonably happily and we have seen good overall progress in his abilities and comprehension. We had a great week in Sydney with his RDI consultant this month and were able to work out a number of obstacles that are in his way at the moment.
Our prayer points this month are:
- That he will stop yelling at his sister and hitting his brother. He seems to have developed a habit of directing all his frustrations towards his sister even if it is not her that has upset him. He yells “Now! Stop That! Right Now!” at her if he’s been upset in any way. Obviously, she doesn’t like this! He also gets nervous when his brother comes around and tends to yell or hit out at him. Clearly, this isn’t great for family peace...
- That his ‘scripted language’ will decrease. He engages more in normal conversations if we make a big effort with him, but he still enjoys repetitively talking to us using scripts from stories or videos. As he has a loud voice and demands attention with it, it can become pretty annoying. I’d like to see it decrease or at least become quieter.
- That Andrew and I will have creativity and energy for daily RDI therapy. We spend ½ hour a day in our ‘RDI room’ playing games and working on our objectives with Bright Eyes. Some days it is great. Other days I could think of a thousand other places to be...
Thanks again friends. We really appreciate your support and loyalty in this.
Friday, March 14, 2008
yeah, well, we're back finally!
I wrote this three weeks ago when we returned from Sydney, but wasn't able to post it because of ongoing problems with our internet provider. Finally we're back on line! Hooray!
We have just come back from our third RDA (Relationship Development Assessment) with our consultant. It was again, a really good week. We learned a lot and have come back with a good plan to tackle the next few months.
One thing that was really good was to check through a lot of different objectives. RDI has both parent objectives and child objectives. Getting the parent objectives right has a big impact on getting the child through his or her objectives.
There are six stages of parent objectives, and hooray hooray, after 12 months of doing RDI, we have successfully made it through to stage six. This means, amongst other things, that we won’t have another RDA for a year! That makes me a little bit nervous... but our consultant is still within driving distance, so I can always pop up there if we need to.
The main thing that we have to work on is getting him out of some bad habits of using me as an emotional crutch. This has developed because I have taken a lot of time to calm him down when he gets anxious and upset. I have done a lot of cuddles, which has turned into carrying and more carrying, and coaxing and soothing and basically being on his string.
(What started out as appropriate soothing (and good parenting) has become inappropriate soothing (and bad parenting). It gave me a bit of a jolt and my great images of myself doing so well came crashing down, but hey, these things happen, and this is why we pay a consultant – to get the realistic and honest feedback and strategies on how to change.)
We know that he can emotionally self-regulate when he wants to now (whereas he couldn’t so much before), so we are going to start handing him back the responsibility for his own emotions. Basically, we are going to help him to ‘struggle successfully’ and not rescue him emotionally.
That being said, we’ll be working on that stuff at home. When we’re out, I’ll do what it takes to keep the calm, but at home, he will be tested, and more and gradual stress will be added as he becomes more competent at emotional self-regulation.
Our consultant thinks it will take a couple of weeks. Once we’ve had two or three weeks of basically happy, stress-free days – whatever we would consider ‘normal’, we’ll start to fight the battles in the public arenas too.
Bright Eyes is nearly up to stage 4 in the child objectives. This brings him to about a 2 ½ or 3 year old’s level. We are just working on getting more information and communication going through facial expressions.
We have just come back from our third RDA (Relationship Development Assessment) with our consultant. It was again, a really good week. We learned a lot and have come back with a good plan to tackle the next few months.
One thing that was really good was to check through a lot of different objectives. RDI has both parent objectives and child objectives. Getting the parent objectives right has a big impact on getting the child through his or her objectives.
There are six stages of parent objectives, and hooray hooray, after 12 months of doing RDI, we have successfully made it through to stage six. This means, amongst other things, that we won’t have another RDA for a year! That makes me a little bit nervous... but our consultant is still within driving distance, so I can always pop up there if we need to.
The main thing that we have to work on is getting him out of some bad habits of using me as an emotional crutch. This has developed because I have taken a lot of time to calm him down when he gets anxious and upset. I have done a lot of cuddles, which has turned into carrying and more carrying, and coaxing and soothing and basically being on his string.
(What started out as appropriate soothing (and good parenting) has become inappropriate soothing (and bad parenting). It gave me a bit of a jolt and my great images of myself doing so well came crashing down, but hey, these things happen, and this is why we pay a consultant – to get the realistic and honest feedback and strategies on how to change.)
We know that he can emotionally self-regulate when he wants to now (whereas he couldn’t so much before), so we are going to start handing him back the responsibility for his own emotions. Basically, we are going to help him to ‘struggle successfully’ and not rescue him emotionally.
That being said, we’ll be working on that stuff at home. When we’re out, I’ll do what it takes to keep the calm, but at home, he will be tested, and more and gradual stress will be added as he becomes more competent at emotional self-regulation.
Our consultant thinks it will take a couple of weeks. Once we’ve had two or three weeks of basically happy, stress-free days – whatever we would consider ‘normal’, we’ll start to fight the battles in the public arenas too.
Bright Eyes is nearly up to stage 4 in the child objectives. This brings him to about a 2 ½ or 3 year old’s level. We are just working on getting more information and communication going through facial expressions.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
