I haven't seen Bright Eyes this stressed for weeks. He has had two very bad days and is bossing and yelling and tantruming like crazy. It's not exactly fun, but it does make me realise how far things had come. Hopefully we can get back there again relatively quickly.
What's made the difference?
Possibly birthday party stress. We had two in a week (his and his sister's), plus presents, plus people in the house and lots of excitement. Also, straight after the second party, he left to spend the weekend with Grandma. He spent two nights with her and I think being on his best behaviour and away from his normal routine left him pretty tired.
I hope we can soothe him down soon. He's not fun to be with right now and the other children are feeling the tension too.
One thing I did notice while he was away was how light I was without the responsibility and guilt I usually feel when he's in the house. I seem to worry all the time that I'm not doing enough, not spending enough time with him, not giving him everything I could possibly give him to help him improve. Somehow I need to work on being more free of guilt yet still doing what I need to.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Playtime or bedtime?
RDI and homeschooling have made me a lot less finicky about keeping the rules compared to seeing the bigger picture.
For example, late last night, both boys were still awake. Normally I try to get them to play quietly in their rooms (their body clocks are not set to going to sleep at 7 any more and haven't been for ages) but they had kind of migrated to the lounge room.
I said to AP: "I must go and put the boys to bed or put them back in their rooms."
But he could see what was going on, and said, "Hang on - you should see the game they are playing together. They are actually relating really well and playing in a coordinated way."
I had a look and it was true. Somehow, after a day of hitting each other, they had reached a happy point together and were running around together, getting into 'boats', rescuing each other and generally having a happy game.
I decided the bigger picture was more important. improving Bright Eyes' relationship skills, and helping the two boys to build a happy relationship together was more important than making them be quiet in their rooms.
We left them for another 20 minutes and they didn't falter in their coordination once. It was a delight to see (another answer to prayer) and I'm sure it has helped build memories of happy play with each other.
For example, late last night, both boys were still awake. Normally I try to get them to play quietly in their rooms (their body clocks are not set to going to sleep at 7 any more and haven't been for ages) but they had kind of migrated to the lounge room.
I said to AP: "I must go and put the boys to bed or put them back in their rooms."
But he could see what was going on, and said, "Hang on - you should see the game they are playing together. They are actually relating really well and playing in a coordinated way."
I had a look and it was true. Somehow, after a day of hitting each other, they had reached a happy point together and were running around together, getting into 'boats', rescuing each other and generally having a happy game.
I decided the bigger picture was more important. improving Bright Eyes' relationship skills, and helping the two boys to build a happy relationship together was more important than making them be quiet in their rooms.
We left them for another 20 minutes and they didn't falter in their coordination once. It was a delight to see (another answer to prayer) and I'm sure it has helped build memories of happy play with each other.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
And tonight...
...as I said goodnight to the boys, I hugged Bright Eyes and said to him, "You're so squashy. I love you."
He said (slightly indistinctly), "I huvo too."
"What was that?" I asked, not willing to get too excited.
"I love you too," he said.
That's the first time he's ever told me he loves me! Yeah baby!
And just for the fun of it, I said later in the evening, "I love you buddy."
"I love you too."
He said (slightly indistinctly), "I huvo too."
"What was that?" I asked, not willing to get too excited.
"I love you too," he said.
That's the first time he's ever told me he loves me! Yeah baby!
And just for the fun of it, I said later in the evening, "I love you buddy."
"I love you too."
Friday, August 15, 2008
Birthday party success
cutting the cake together
playing on the roundabout. Bright eyes in the middle.
We had a great little party for Bright Eyes today. It was held at a local park with a great roundabout. The sun shone, and we had a good time even despite the wind (which blew one whole bunch of my balloons away...).
Bright Eyes played with the children who came. We didn't have any games - just gross motor activity on the play equipment. He was great about sharing the roundabout and wanted everyone to get on and have a go together. He accepted presents and said thank you. He cut his cake and blew out his candles. He didn't complain at any point (even when the balloons flew away) and the only tears were because he fell over once, but they quickly passed. In fact, the only crying child I had was the youngest one who was jealous of everyone playing with his big sister.
It was a real success and I'm a very happy mother!
Two other pieces of progress today: he actually PUT ON HIS COAT to play. He has not put that coat on voluntarily for me for a year and a half. He started to protest, but realised it would actually make him warmer and on it went. Also - he is currently sitting happily in the bath. I got him in there merely by pointing out how grubby he was, and how he could take Brum in the bath with him. He said, "Can I have it warm?" and went straight into the bathroom. No manhandling, no carrying, no protests. Wow!!!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Birthday
Bright Eyes is about to turn 5.
He definitely knows what's going on this year. We're having a party at a park, with a Thomas cake and balloons. He knows that he's getting presents, and he has strong ideas about what should be in them!
Grandma sent him a lovely little bridge for his train set, so I got him on the phone to say thank you.
He held the phone and said, "Oh, Grandma. Now I need James, Henry and Edward trains."
He definitely knows what's going on this year. We're having a party at a park, with a Thomas cake and balloons. He knows that he's getting presents, and he has strong ideas about what should be in them!
Grandma sent him a lovely little bridge for his train set, so I got him on the phone to say thank you.
He held the phone and said, "Oh, Grandma. Now I need James, Henry and Edward trains."
Lots of little good things...
This week has been pretty good. I've seen slow but steady progress in his comprehension and resilience.
In no particular order, a few things I enjoyed were:
- he helped me paint the roof of his engine shed. He did quite a good job too, looking for the bits which were still white and needed to be covered in red.
- another good day at preschool.
- playing quite nicely with little brother quite frequently.
- he got really excited about our recent bedroom rearrangement. He now has his own room, with his name on the door, lots of space for his trains and a little table and chairs for him to sit at. He's loved it and it has made our evenings a lot more peaceful as he's hung out there rather than in the lounge room.
- he was really into the drama (David and Goliath) at church last week. We have the good fortune to have a 6ft 9" man with amusing acting skills in our congregation. When he's dressed up in cardboard armour, he's pretty imposing and Bright Eyes was saying, "Don't let him get me!"
- he has turned off the TV himself, and left the computer by himself to come to the dinner table.
- he really wants to play with us all the time. He's always inviting us to come play with him. It's fun.
- We were playing trains one day and I decided to make it into a game where the trains became farm animals. Thomas was the farmer, Emily was a sheep etc. At first he wasn't into it and stayed literal and said, "No, it's a train," but he got the idea quickly and got into it. I don't think I've ever played imaginary farms with train characters before! We changed the trains into sharks and whales, helicopters and aeroplanes and cars. It was good fun and we had some great connection.
In no particular order, a few things I enjoyed were:
- he helped me paint the roof of his engine shed. He did quite a good job too, looking for the bits which were still white and needed to be covered in red.
- another good day at preschool.
- playing quite nicely with little brother quite frequently.
- he got really excited about our recent bedroom rearrangement. He now has his own room, with his name on the door, lots of space for his trains and a little table and chairs for him to sit at. He's loved it and it has made our evenings a lot more peaceful as he's hung out there rather than in the lounge room.
- he was really into the drama (David and Goliath) at church last week. We have the good fortune to have a 6ft 9" man with amusing acting skills in our congregation. When he's dressed up in cardboard armour, he's pretty imposing and Bright Eyes was saying, "Don't let him get me!"
- he has turned off the TV himself, and left the computer by himself to come to the dinner table.
- he really wants to play with us all the time. He's always inviting us to come play with him. It's fun.
- We were playing trains one day and I decided to make it into a game where the trains became farm animals. Thomas was the farmer, Emily was a sheep etc. At first he wasn't into it and stayed literal and said, "No, it's a train," but he got the idea quickly and got into it. I don't think I've ever played imaginary farms with train characters before! We changed the trains into sharks and whales, helicopters and aeroplanes and cars. It was good fun and we had some great connection.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Today's miracle...
... was that Bright Eyes has been to preschool without crying or protesting - two days in a row.
Wow!
Wow!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
